Parenting Oasis, October 2019: Practical Articles from Around the Web

Posted by Deborah Farmer Kris on Oct 17, 2019 9:40:07 AM

 

Parenting can be equal parts amazing, lonely, and overwhelming. Here are three recent articles that offer some helpful nuggets as we try to raise good kids in a complicated world.

1. My Teen Lied to Me. Was I Right to Ground Him?

In her new column for the New York Times, Dr. Lisa Damour fields a question from a parent who is wondering the right approach to take with a teenager who snuck out at night.  Her advice includes this wisdom:

Even when teenagers play off their bad behavior, they know when they’ve crossed a line and fully expect that adults will hold them to account. They find it frightening when we don’t, and may continue to act out just to see out what it takes to get the grown-ups to act like grown-ups. Going forward, you have two goals. You want your son to think twice before pulling a stunt like this again, and you want to rebuild a trusting, positive relationship with him. 

(If you work with girls, you might also find some helpful information in my interview with Dr. Damour: “How to Help Teenage Girls Reframe Anxiety and Strengthen Resilience.”)

 

2. How to Raise an Optimistic Human in a Pessimistic World

In this article for The Washington Post, Caroline Knorr -- the parenting editor for Common Sense Media --shares six tips for helping children deal with the barrage of distressing information they encounter online and in the media. Here’s tip #6: 

Tune out the world for a while. Grab your kids, grab your spouse if you have one, and shut everything else down. If they’re all there with you, you won’t miss anything. Simply being together, whether it’s to read, have a device-free dinner or talk about an issue, recharges you and sends your kids the message that family time takes precedence over everything else. Experts recommend this kind of self-care because the buildup of bad news can be overwhelming and even debilitating. And if that’s how adults feel, imagine how kids are reacting to the constant barrage. By managing your media and reclaiming your family time, you show your kids what’s really important.

 

3. How to Support Your Young Introvert

In my September column for PBS Kids for Parents, I offer four strategies that parents can use to help young introverts develop their strengths and confidence. 

  1. Provide Warm-Up Time 
  2. Help Them Understand Their Surroundings  
  3. Allow Time to Recharge 
  4. Celebrate Their Strengths

Here's an excerpt:

Think about how we sometimes talk about extraverted kids: He’s so outgoing! She’s fearless! He loves to ham it up! She’s never met a stranger!

Rarely do you hear with the same enthusiasm: She’s quiet! He’s great at looking before leaping! She’s a wonderful observer! He’s a thoughtful listener! But those traits are equally worth celebrating.

In a loud world, an introverted child may sometimes wonder if there’s something “wrong” with them if they don’t want to volunteer to go up on stage or if they aren’t the center of attention at the playground (and don’t really want to be). We can point out their obvious and quiet strengths and remind them that they are special just the way they are. 

 

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