Writing college essays has actually improved my mental health – sort of. Though I don’t relish the prospect of dashing off supplemental after supplemental, and looming deadlines don’t inspire joy in my heart, I’ve realized that the more essays I write, the more wholesomely I think. Let me explain.

I’ve decided that colleges probably don’t seek students crazed over one lost point on a quiz; they’re probably not looking for perfectionists who are only interested in keeping their winning streak. Especially as “growth mindsets” and openness about mental health struggles increase, colleges maintain that they want students willing to make mistakes and learn from them. 

So as I wrote my essays, I aimed to project my most “growth-mindset” self, describing how I’ve learned to value my mistakes. Context: I’ve often struggled with perfectionism, so a growth mindset is something I’ve tried to adopt. I wouldn’t claim I’ve always succeeded at embracing failures, but it’s something I’m always working on. The self I presented to colleges in my essays is me at my best. It’s me at my most accepting of challenges as true learning opportunities – my most “growth-mindset” self. 

And I had to write a lot of essays; I’d come home from school, write, and repeat. As a result, I wrote about my “growth-mindset” self a lot. Slogging through college applications and a senior-year course load, I noticed something surprising: I was actually becoming my “growth-mindset” self. 

Before, she only emerged when I really exerted myself to see the positive side of hardships. But after repeatedly detailing her exploits, she began to pop up more often and more organically. I recalled that I’d heard that positive self-talk can help improve your mindset – maybe that was what was happening. My hypothesis: by repeatedly writing about learning from challenges in a positive light, I was actually teaching myself to value failures for what they could teach me. 

According to Medical News Today, positive self-talk has been found to provide mental health benefits in multiple studies. A study published in the National Library of Medicine also found that self-talk correlates with sports performance and the fun associated with the sport. In the context of the research, my hypothesis makes sense, since positive self-talk has been shown to improve mental health. Because I inadvertently practiced embracing challenges, I actually became more appreciative of them. 

Director of Wellness Mrs. Muldoon affirmed the importance of the narratives you create for yourself. She said: “We respond to what our brain focuses on; the stories that we tell ourselves, the brain responds to as true. They influence our beliefs about ourselves.” In my case, I was writing about stories in which I was capable of overcoming challenges, and I began to believe that I was someone who found value in tackling difficult tasks. To harness this effect, Mrs. Muldoon suggested: “Mine your history for real things that will influence the story you tell yourself. Expand upon your positive experiences, and integrate them into your sense of self.”

So for anyone working through a mound of supplementals, I hope you can derive some benefit from them. I hope they help you welcome your best “growth-mindset” self, too. And to everyone else not blessed with loads of college essays, you can also cultivate your best growth mindset. Check in on the stories you tell yourself; focus on stories that reflect your abilities and who you want to be. No need to make up fake college essay prompts – a journal would probably suffice.