If someone asks you -- how are you doing -- where does your mind tend to go first?

• To your worries about what you need to get done? I have so much work to do…

• Stress surrounding upcoming tests or other deadlines? That test is going to be so hard…I’ll never get that paper done…

• Some slight you perceived from a friend?

It’s part of our survival instinct -- to fixate on perceived threats. And it’s not only the threats we perceive. It’s also the things we avoid, because our minds identify what we avoid as even more dangerous than what we engage in. Our primitive brains don’t seem to see the difference between a T-Rex charging at us in the forest and that slim piece of paper in our backpack that needs our attention. So this survival instinct predisposes us to a mindset for worrying. Our brain even works hard to find extra things to worry about, as the doom scrolling trend notes.

Then there’s the social contagion aspect of that worry. What’s the first thing we do when we start worrying? We want to share that worry with someone else. Inadvertently, we may not realize that we’ve just passed along our worry and created the social contagion effect. Have you ever felt more anxious about a test after you heard others express their worries? How much of our conversations with friends at school fixate on our worries or negative comments related to our worries? 

This first-instinct of ours -- to focus first on the negative and to share our worries -- causes a lot of extra challenges for us. It tightens our breathing, increases our heart rate, and clouds our brains. That negative energy actually cramps our memory recall for the test and adds to brain fog when we try to make an outline for that paper. And it doesn’t only hurt us; for when we share it, we’re spreading that negative contagion to others. 

How do we break this cycle -- to not stay stuck on first reactions that center on worries and to not spread that contagion among others? It’s not easy, but the first step is noticing the pattern. If you notice this negative worry pattern in yourself and others, I have some suggestions, based on neuroscience research. The links in this letter all point to articles that explain the research behind each finding and suggestion.

Reframe. That same adrenaline that fuels worry is the basis for positive excitement too. We can actually shift our brains toward a positive mindset and train that adrenaline to support us to do better on the next test and to surge through that paper. Here are some research based strategies to facilitate reframing:

• Playful distraction. If we take a brief break from our worry, our mind has time to reset on what is important. Playing games, working on puzzles, going to the gym, taking walks allow us to decompress and reset.
• Create a happier-thoughts folder on your computer. Put pictures of your dog, your baby sister, a photo of your happy place at the beach last summer, a beautiful sunset, quotes that uplift you. Add positive comments from teachers and others. Scan that file and bathe your mind in positive memories and encouraging words to help you reset.
• Develop the habit of gratitude. Many people keep a gratitude journal to remember to say thank you for the blessings in our lives, and we can do this in a moment when our brain is flooded with worries. At any moment in the day, you can pause and make a quick list of things you are grateful for. Research shows that we can move our mind from the fog of worry to the clarity of peace by shifting our focus.
• Breathe. Engaging in deep breathing practice that not only takes in deep and sustained breaths but includes long sustained exhaling settles our heart rate and clears our brain fog. You can do this at any moment throughout the day.
• Pray. Ask for God’s help. Call on our guardian angels and the saints. Offer our worries up as intercessions to help someone else.
• Rethink the pattern of our conversations with others.
• Bring your worries to the adults. If you’re worried about a test or paper, bring that right to your teacher. She can help you with the task and learn from your insights if others might need more help or an adjusted deadline. 
• Uplift your peers. Rather than bond by sharing your worries as a social contagion, empower, cheer on, and encourage your peers. Spread the contagion of a sporting spirit -- the tenacity to lean into challenges and the wisdom to remind others that each task is really a small thing in the larger puzzle of a school year. Be the person that helps clear others' brain fog, and you’ll see your own energy shift as well.

When we fixate on worries and negative thoughts, we pull back from challenges. We breathe less deeply, our shoulders sag, our eyes scan nervously. But when we reframe worry with a more sporting spirit -- when we lean into challenges with a more positive mindset -- we stand tall, hold our eyes steadily on the task before us, breathe deeply, and add positive energy to others’ days. This work isn’t easy; it requires practicing habits that help lift us out of first reactions and re-form our minds in ways that help improve our days and help others.

Are you ready for the warrior challenge? Get ready to engage in challenges with a sporting spirit, to ask for help, and uplift your peers!